Strange, Stranger, Strangeness

Eyes downcast
Down, down in my mind
A veil was drawn 
Drawn, down in my mind 

Hands clasped by a window 
A sad wind in my hair 
Waiting for someone 
I'm sure not to see again 

Tears falling upwards
Up, up in my mind 
Toes dancing quietly
Dancing, up in my mind 

The song of quiet despair 
Ever the song of my heart 
The song of numb indifference 
Playing over my mind 

Footsteps walk away
Away, away in my mind 
Eyes that go on looking away 
Away, away in my mind 

I don't stop to wonder 
I don't stop to cry 
I don't stop to think 
Quietly, down in my mind 

Life's moving fast and sure 
I've thought to swim against the tide 
Death or despair lurks surer here 
Unimportant, down here in my mind 

Words I'd never say
Spoken, spoken in my mind 
Thoughts I'd never release 
Dying, unspoken in my mind

The future looks grim, unwanted 
The future looks cold and full
Of strangers and strangeness
All strange, strange in my mind 

The silence is deafening
So deafening, so deafening 
So loud I can no longer hear it 
The biggest soundtrack to my mind 

Thoughts that go on winding 
Thoughts that come winding back 
I'll be sure of only an upgrade 
Dancing, up here in my dreams 

I could never do this
Wails a voiceless voice in my mind
I laugh right back at it 
Then what, what is this here tonight

Gift of Ants

Dreams/ My tangled thoughts
In and out they weave
Faces/ New and old and
Imagined/ The handsome, the hated
The ones that deserve death

By fire/ The same ones as would have
Consigned their fellow creatures
To brief punishments followed through
To the end/ Projects of misery and joy
Straining to stay on the path

Clothes and shoes and bags
The hallmarks of a fashion dance
The conductor, the choreographer
Patient and conniving/ How did you
Forget about the watchful eyes

Everywhere
Ants/ On me, under me, crawling
All over me/ They sting
Me awake and back into sleep
The lullabies of a summer heat wave

It's time to leave/ These confused dreams
Will never thoughtfully step apart
A quiet bag of honey hidden in the corner
Lightning understanding flashes down
The ants crawling all over it, and on it and

Under it and inside it/ Honey
A gift left behind by a careless guest
Fury shakes me to my core/ Even as I
Wonder/ Was I once this careless too
Did I ever leave my hosts a gift of ants?