Friday, January 29, 2016

Insomnia



A numbness in my fingers
A pain I can't appreciate 
Cramping hands and drooping eyes 
Twitching, twitching all the time 

I sat up all night yesterday 
And the night, the night before 
And every night this week, this month 
Begging, wishing, so desperate 

Come morning, and this delicate dawn 
Stealing in my windows and 
Glaring down on a tired mind 
Whispering of normalcy 

Don't frighten me, don't anger me 
Don't speak to me of normalcy 
Don't laugh at me, don't expect of me 
Don't treat me like in normalcy 

I saw a man who said he'd help
I saw a woman who wanted to 
I spoke I wrote I thought it out 
And sat up all night, every night 

I swallowed what they told me to 
I tried it forwards, and back again 
I read, I fled, I damn well despaired 
Of getting close to normalcy 

Don't call to me, don't come to me 
Don't expect any normalcy 
Don't ask of me, don't promise me 
I'm sick and tired of normalcy 

Faint hearted promises, all gone 
Faces voices hearts all gone 
I'd cry or laugh till the end of time 
If I thought it would buy me normalcy 

I'd sell my soul for normalcy 
I'd sell my love for normalcy 
I can tell you don't believe me but
I'd sell my mind for normalcy 

Such pride, such pain, so much envy 
I despise and yet admire 
Those that live their normal lives 
Steeped in contented ignorance 

Do you know of this unreality?
Do you know this floating feel
The sensation opposing normalcy 
The sense of sleep hanging round my neck 

Waiting, looming, hovering
Always just out of my reach 
I wish I pray I scream in rage 
Coz all I want is some normal sleep