I need to smile

And take the dive

I need to turn away

From the future

I saw as clear as day

I need to learn

To laugh again

To lose myself

In this brand new rain

I fight these gusts

That crash against the mountains

That make for new sailing

Into the deep navy blue

Into the locker of Davey Jones

Dreams I once forced

To fade away

Come visit me now

In the twilight hours

When I'm away, just far away

There's something I once knew

Something I forgot but had to let you know

To keep a promise

And honour something

I didn't know I wouldn't need it

So far away from home

So I'm stepping back

On deck; I'm leaving

Floating away on the waves of Time

Riding yet another wave

Knowing there's yet more to come

Requiem

A bitter note

Of regret

Hums above in midair

As a chord

Of spite

Is struck

My fingers flow

Over familiar keys

The starkness of the

Black and white

Pounds out a rhythm

In sync with my heart

This symphony

Has been played before

In this concert hall of Pain

In this Ancient Gamefield

Where the Player

Turns played

Bringing out the background notes

In a requiem of Love

This song from my heart

Weaves in and out

Blending with

The tears of souls

And a hundred thousand lies

Its a lullaby that rocks

The babies of the damned

Its the pain beneath my skin

Lashing out again

Gloom

Out of the gloom

The room seems to tell me things

Things I've forgotten

Things I haven't thought about

For far too long

Some things are just too heavy

To make the journey

Over the blue seas

I've got no choice

But to ditch the luggage

Or lose myself in the oblivion

There's this dream

I keep waking up from

I fly down the stairs

Thinking of you waiting

In front of the gate

I run down a million times

In a million years of memory

There are things I've left undone

Because tonight seems

To go on forever

I stand at this door

And look into the gloom

What do you see

In my unseeing eyes

Do you see me look past you

Because I'm looking at you

In my heart

I've seen the stars

Extinguished many a time

To be surprised this time

It's all I can do

To slip out through the door

Into the silence outside

Get Over It Already

A pall wind peeps

O'er my shoulder

Forked malice flashes

In the thundersky

My pen gropes in the dark

Looking for the face

To describe the words

Writing late into the night

By firefly light

I get drunk on Pepsi

And look into the shallows

Trying to get over the fact

That the tides are going out

Tonight

I'm walking on air

For sugar rush reasons

Other than your pretty face

I'm laughing off the pain

And waking up again

Ode to Love

Sittin' on a bench

Smilin' for a pic

You look like you were waitin'

For me to come around

I don't care if I'm wrong

I just wanna sit

Sit around and laugh a lot

Till it's time to leave

Don't think I can do this

Too weak for Destiny's pen

All I wanna think about

Is relishing my Luck

So this is all I'm gonna do

Watch out for me/ here I come

Save me a place on the bench

Right next to you

I smile when you say hi

It makes me even happier

When you say bye

I dunno if that makes sense

But that's the way it is

I love it when you care enough

To look around and smile

I dunno what your problem is

I dunno if you care

But I can tell you that tonight

You're all I'm dreamin' of

I take the silence for a yes

I take all smiles for nayes

Can you see how my head

Is messed up/ And

how this is all your fault?

There's a long way to go yet

But I wish that you were here

Come to me, hold my hand

And help me hide my tears

I wanna keep dancing

Through the night with you

See you silly dance

Coz you're what keeps me sane

Otherwise

Some things aren't meant
To be spoken out loud
Some things that simmer

Just beneath the surface

Some smiles

Aren't meant to falter

To betray the curl

Of the lip lurking

Right behind it

Some arms aren't meant

To be taken off some shoulders

Lest they stray

To a less happy connection

On the face

It doesn't matter

That the goblins are giggling

From their hiding place

Behind the sideboard

Somethings are just

Not meant to be otherwise

A hard laugh of irony

Forms the background for my thoughts

As I smile at the wheels

Being set in motion

Crazy things quite a few

I've done and will have done

But some lines

Aren't meant to be crossed

This night tells me strange things

The fairies are in up in the air again

Their sharp mean teeth flash

As someone turns the light out

Inside my head

I dance to the tune

Of the world

I dance to the laughter

And wonder why

Laughing Goodbye

I coax the little monsters

Out from under my bed

Snap their leashes of twine

And set them free again

They're on your case

Like a flash in the pan

That's all you'll ever be

By the time they're done with you

I laugh to see

My heart breaking

I turn away

And close my ears

I can't risk another night

That goes on forever

I can't risk another tear

And this is the last time

I can't bear to listen

To the poor puppy's yowling

I can't bear to see it beaten

Half to death again

I call my baby in

And cuddle him in my arms

I give him little baby treats

And wipe away his tears

I turn to close the window

The wind is still blowing in

I see you gazing at me

From across the garden path

I turn away before you smile

And let the curtains fall

How did you find your way in?

My backdoor creaked

A gust of wind

Came rushing out to me

As I closed my eyes

On a moonlit porch

You smiled at me

Through a darkness

I did not want to see

I didn't choose

To turn this stone

And find the baby sun

Lurking underneath

I didn't choose

I close my eyes

And give myself up

To the tides

I'd rather you left

The way you came in

For there are ghosts

Under my bed that gloat

That wait to creep out

And sully my dreams

Of the way your smile

Lit my little porch up

Ben Hur's Horses

I'm curling away

Into the bedclothes

Closing my mind

I'm closing my eyes

The past is looming

Over my future

Grinning its sinister painful smirk

My fingers tremble

As I fight to control

These spirited horses that I drive

The cracking hiss of a whip in the air

Sends them rearing up

On palomino hind legs

The sight of the crash

That awaits me beyond the corner

Sends my sleep

On a long journey far away

Sightless eyes stare

Into the blinding white darkness

Fearing the silence

Cursing the past

Sway and smile

Glass shattering across the carpet

My world is turning on its head

I'm swaying to the invisible music

Woven into the fabric of the world

The birds learn from my smile

As my heart soars above theirs

My laugh escapes

Like a soul across the river

My feet are itching

To get up and dance

The indigo- violet nights away

The world squirms uneasily

As I set my sights on it

I'll stop only at the top

Only to kick off from the top

Towards higher heights

Towards the memories left behind

Some things don't need a title

There's a screaming in my ears

That tries to drown out

The screaming in my heart

Something falls

In the room next door

Shattering irreparably

It makes me scream

In pain and fear

This road is far from mine

To agree

Puppy Love

The rain grabs my calves
They spasm in pain
It's a cold night that bares
Wishes buried

I try and laugh it off
But for the snarl
Which I try to muffle
To get it lost in the rain

A queer kind of thudding
Someone's asking to go out
Whining at my doorstep/ scratching
Like a dog on a scent

I can't say no to the puppy within
The poor beaten thing
I hear him howling into the wind
In the nights when tears spring into my eyes

The silence isn't answer enough
But I let him out anyway
Pity strives to stay my hand
But this lesson isn't mine to be learnt.

Somebody's Misfortune

I stare at the blank screen
As blank as my thoughts
Pity rears within
A snake in the grass

Tears fall on a pillow
Miles and miles away
A year or more ago
As plans that were built
Came crashing down on your head

My wings rebuke me
With your hopeless smile
I smile and stop
Wavering as I remember you
As I miss you

The Allegorical Leap of Faith

Standing on the edge of the plank
I close my eyes
Let my feet do the seeing for me
I inch forward along the white wooden-ness
My toes grasp the edge
And take a deep breath

I smile and take a deep breath
Right behind them
Of a life of their own/ my toes leap
Forward, falling in a graceful arc
I'm framed against the clouds
Against the blue sky

I didn't take this decision
To slice into these shallows
This familiar pool I've swum before
Azure is the shade of self doubt

The water around me is warm
Inviting me to wallow
To never leave behind this impasse
I've taken this leap
This leap of faith
Or I would never ever know

But something tells me
I should get through
That something better is waiting
At the other end of the pool
Twenty laps is nothing
I'd do a hundred more
If only you were waiting
Dry towel in hand, smiling
Letting me know I'm at the end
I've won & it's all over for good

Love in the rain

Running through the wind
With nowhere else to go
Raindrops on my face

I leave my laugh behind
As I cower under my bag
And I'm running through the wind
With no one else with me

My thoughts are on rewind
My eyes linger on your smile
I wonder what you meant
And I wish it was the start
Of a whole new story

Yes I'm sick of the prelude
And epilogues are so out
So I thought that you and me
Should stick to the middle

The start of the same old story

I dare myself

To open this door / to smile

At the girl in the mirror

In the room beyond

I've heard this tune before

At night outside my window

Always just beyond my reach

Cupid's sprite haunts me again

Teasing me in the breeze

That blows my hair back

The silence is chilling

There's no way to know

Mistakes I'm done with

The madness was gone

But it's knocking at the back gate

Out there in the garden

I pause to think

Dare I let it in again?